It’s go time, friends! My Mama has arrived, the diapers have (finally 😅) been bought, the nursery has been (somewhat) finished and maternity leave has begun: BabyBruther watch is officially ON! 😱😱I am currently 38.5 weeks pregnant and my official due date is October 10th. If you’re wondering what our birth plan is then this is the post for you..
WARNING AND DISCLAMER: What follows is lots of nitty gritty REAL pregnancy and delivery talk— if you’re not into that sorta thing or if the V word makes you uncomfortable now would be the time to close your browser! 🤗 I am not a doctor and this post is based on my personal experience and choices towards labor and delivery and a little googling. Please consult your doctor before deciding what type of birth is right for your family. Oh, and one more thing- notice the quotations around “natural” birth through out the post? Let the record show that there is NO WAY I AM DOING THIS WITHOUT AN EPIDURAL; “natural” just means non-Caesarian in my book. Got it? OK, let’s dive in..
Back to the Beginning: Chickie Day
As you might remember, Chickie came to this world after a looong labor that ended in an emergency C-section. It all started on a Sunday night riiiight before Game of Thrones when my water broke. No big SWOOSH- I just went to pee and after I was done peeing, water kept coming.. I wasn’t even sure it was happening, it was more like huh 🤔🤔 this is interesting? After calling the doctor and watching GOT (no way could we have avoided spoilers until after baby!!) we headed to the hospital.. only to come right back home. My water broke that night but labor didn’t really start so they told us to get a good night’s sleep in our own bed and come back in the morning.
Around 11AM Monday morning we headed to the hospital once again. I was still leaking like crazy from my water breaking but was otherwise feeling totally normal- no contractions, cramps or pain whatsoever- so naturally, we were the last thing on the nurses mind that morning, they had bigger (more labor-ry) fish to fry. I didn’t get my first “dose” of Pitocin (the drug they use to induce labor) until around 3PM and it wasn’t until around 6PM when I started really feeling the contractions and they finally gave us a room. Once in our room I walked, I bounced on the ball, I listened to my birth playlist and distracted myself from the pain the best that I could- mostly by making inappropriate vagina jokes to the nursing staff 🤗 By midnight the distraction game had gotten old and I was screaming for an epidural. The epidural was HEAVEN; it was like a switch when I got it at 6cm of dilation- after dyyyying of pain only a second ago, I could hardly feel anything once I got it! I even managed to get some sleep while my body just kept on doing it’s thing.. The epidural did slow down my labor though, which I hear is very common and why I tried to hold out as long as I could before asking for it. I believe my exact quote when I was ready for the epidural was “GET ME ALL THE DRUGSSSSSS!” Yup, patient of the year over here.. 🙋🏽🤰🏽🙈
Around 7AM Tuesday morning I woke to the weirdest feeling down there- it wasn’t pain really, it was just a LOT of pressure as if- In Chickie’s words- I really, really needed to go “yucky poop!” 🤣💩 Apparently, this meant that it was time to start pushing. The nurse came in and confirmed that I was now 10cms dilated and 100% effaced- it was GO TIME! I was so excited- this was really happening! Soon after I began pushing. I pushed and pushed and pushed. I changed positions and kept on pushing. For THREE HOURS we did this dance- me pushing, #handsomehubbs cheering me on, the wonderful nurses confirming (upon my asking in between pushes) that I hadn’t just pooped on the table (I totally had) until… I just couldn’t do it anymore. My head was spinning and I was feeling weak. They took my temperature and I had a height fever; turns out so did little Chickie in my tummy! 😭😭😭 Too much time had passed since my water broke (Sunday night) and go time (Tuesday morning), too much time for baby to be without a barrier to the outside world.. the doctor’s were calling it; baby had a fever and it was emergency C-Section time.
In my stuburness, I wanted to keep trying. I wanted to give birth and I was SO CLOSE, I wasn’t about to give up now- the nurses were yelling out her hair color for G’s sake! My thoughtful husband knew exactly what I needed even before I did- he brought in my mom and my sister into the room and left us alone. I sat in the labor and delivery room with my mom and my sister and cried my eyes out, mourning my “natural” birth…it was heartbreaking. Until it wasn’t. My baby was on the other end of this regardless of how we get there- it took that moment alone in the room with my women with mascara running down all of our cheeks to remind me of that. In came #handsomehubbs and off to the operating room we went, just us two. About 15 minutes later Chickie Lou was here (all 9 pounds 10 oz of her!) and the world was never the same 💕✨
To VBAC or Not to VBAC?
Fast forward two years and four months later and here we are.. with BabyBruther fully cooked in my belly and a big decision ahead of us: to VBAC or not to VBAC? If you’re not familiar with the term a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) it’s exactly that- trying to labor and have a “natural” birth after having gone through at least one C-section. There’s some risks associated with it, mainly your scar rupturing and a higher risk of something going wrong if you do end up needing an emergency C-Section- but overall, it’s done quite a bit here in the US and doctors don’t generally consider it overly risky, if you’re a good candidate for it.
I am very thankful Chickie’s birth ended the way it did- with a healthy, chubby baby that we got to take home after just a total of 3 days in the NICU- but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was sad to go into the operating room for a C-Section that Tuesday morning. It felt like I was entering motherhood in someone else’s terms. Even before seeing the doctor for baby number two, after the positive pregnancy test I started thinking about the delivery… would I get a second chance at child birth? Would I want it? I make big babies (and big bellies!), even if I try for a “natural” birth who’s to say it doesn’t end up in an emergency C-Section again? So. Many. Unknowns.
Thankfully, my doctor was amazing about it. She didn’t put any pressure on me one way or another and simply talked through the different options with me- I could give up on labor all-together and schedule a C-Section for week 38 of pregnancy, I could go all-in on trying a VBAC and not schedule a C-Section at all or I could take a middle ground and schedule a C-Section for week 40, giving myself some time to labor and avoid inducement by just skipping to the Cesarean if I hadn’t given birth by my due date. The last option is what I went with..
On October 10th, 2018 at 2PM I have a C-Section scheduled but my hope is to give birth “naturally” before then. Does it feel a little like I’m taking the easy way out? Maybe.. Considering my prior almost 10-pound baby, the chances of me delivering “naturally” after 40 weeks are not great, in my (and my doctor’s) opinion so the 40 week cut-off seemed to strike a good balance between trying to deliver “naturally” while still being conscious of the risks associated with a VBAC and not pushing them. Do I hope I go into labor before 10/10? You bet.. Am I terrified of both scenarios? ABSO-EFFING-LUTELY.
Anyways.. there you have it, my friends- the ramblings of a very hormonal mama waiting to meet her forever boyfriend while savoring the last weeks (days?) with just babygirl and #handsomehubbs… and Peter.
Please know, if you had a different experience with childbirth, that I am in no way passing judgment on it. There’s no doubt in my mind that you did/chose whatever was right for you and your babies. The point of this post (and every post here on LTL) is to be open and honest about my experience to encourage open dialogue on a topic that is not talked about enough- or at least not honestly. Please keep our little family in your thoughts and send good vibes for a healthy baby boy.. Oh, and if you’re a nurse at Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital- my apologies in advance, there’s a whole lotta crazy heading your way soon!
PS- as of Friday morning, I am 2cms dilated and 50% effaced.. this baby might be coming sooner than we think! (JINX MUCH?) 😅😅😅 See you on the other side, my friends..